“Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching.”
My personal ethics is an important aspect of My role as a Lifestyle and Professional Dominatrix. It is the core of My being and without strong personal ethics, I would not be blessed with the devotion of My slaves and submissives.
A couple of general points about domination first before I mention specifics about My ethics:
- True dominance comes when a Dominant is able to master and control themselves first, everything else becomes a natural progression. A Dominant who rants, raves or punishes a sub when angry is totally out of control and that is the exact opposite to what BDSM is about. BDSM is NOT an excuse for abuse and if you cannot control yourself, how are you expected to control your sub?
- Domination is not just about the technical know-how of your craft – anyone can learn the technique if they apply themselves. It is the way in which you approach, feel, and subsequently apply your skills which is highly significant. Domination is not about going through the motions. “Acting” may serve as a temporary reprieve however, if you do not have the love and enthusiasm from your heart, soul and mind for what you do, the outer shell of pretence will eventually crack and expose the insincerity within.
The following qualities are the basis of My personal and professional ethics and that is the perspective I am writing from. Having said that, I do expect My submissives to possess the essence of such qualities themselves. Many of these are interrelated and they are not in any order of preference as I consider them all to be of equal importance:
“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.”
When submissives offer their submission to Me, I consider it a precious gift and I never see it as an automatic right. With that gift comes a great deal of responsibility – the well being of My submissives now falls upon My shoulders.
“Without trust, words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust, words become life itself.”
Without trust, there can be no Dominance or submission. Implicit trust from both sides is absolutely essential for total submission or Domination to take place. My submissives need to feel that they can trust Me implicitly and I am always conscious of their dependence on Me to protect them, especially when they are at their most vulnerable during play. They cannot truly be themselves if they cannot completely let go of their inhibitions due to lack of trust.
“Self-expression must pass into communication for its fulfilment.”
So very important – without it, situations become misconstrued, directions become unclear and mistakes will happen. Personal growth for My submissives cannot happen without good, clear, concise communication, nor can O/our understanding of each other evolve.
“Respect yourself if you would have others respect you.”
Respect given, will be returned in kind. You cannot demand respect, it will come to you when you deserve it. If I want My submissives to respect Me as a Domme, I give the same level of respect to them. I EARN My respect from them in return by what I do.
HONOUR & INTEGRITY
“Nobody can acquire honour by doing what is wrong.”
“Never separate the life you live from the words you speak.”
My actions speak louder than words. My submissives will expect Me to keep My word and they know that when I tell them I will do something, it WILL happen. My policy is to not to say anything I feel I cannot follow through. I remain honest in all I do for Myself and for My submissives. There is no point in cheating or making shallow promises, you only end up short changing yourself and your reputation. Honour and integrity in turn builds greater trust and respect.
“If you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path.”
My submissives need Me to understand that they are real people with real feelings and needs just as much as I am. I show interest in what they do and in the events which occur in their lives. Listening and responding to their needs makes My D/s bond with them stronger and more profound.
“There must be consistency in direction.”
As a Mistress, I have to be consistent in how I treat My submissives. Nothing confuses a submissive more than when their Domme keeps moving the goal posts or punishes for a misdemeanour on one occasion and not for the same misdemeanour on the next. I avoid placing conflicting demands upon My subs and I give equal rewards when I am pleased with them.
“We come nearest to the great when we are great in humility.”
As a Mistress and a person (because the two are intertwined), I realise I will not always be correct. As much as I learn and become proficient within My craft, life in all its richness and knowledge is a continuous learning experience and there is always more I can learn and improve upon. My submissives know that on the rare occasion if I make a mistake, they will get an apology from Me as they rightly deserve. The lesser Dominant in My view is the one who cannot even admit their mistake in the first place.
“Safety doesn’t happen by accident.”
In My capacity as a Lifestyle and Professional Mistress, it is imperative to be well aware of the potential damage I can cause to My submissives. I thoroughly acquaint Myself with the possible dangers involved with the different BDSM activities I engage in and I do not take unnecessary risks. My First Aid skills are kept up-to-date and I take every care to ensure My submissives are not injured during play. My motto here is: Prepare and prevent, don’t repair and repent!
These are the ten values I highly regard and I do My utmost to follow these principles, not only for Myself but for My slaves and submissives. Now is the perfect opportunity to thank My slaves and submissives for entrusting Me with their beautiful gifts of submission.